4 Pieces of Clothing I Just Can't Quit

And thoughts on shopping smarter, not harder.

I feel pretty confident saying I’m not alone when it comes to holding onto pieces of clothing that don’t fit quite right, hoping they’ll work at a later date. My closet is full of them—let’s call them “pipe-dream pieces.” Maybe this skirt will look better if I lose weight in my hips. Maybe these cap-sleeves will suit me more when I get better-defined biceps and shoulders. Maybe these pants will fit better if I buy a sewing machine, learn to sew, and then taper the leg. And maybe this dress would flatter me more if I lived in a different country and got a lot of plastic surgery and flew to the moon for my vacations. 

I usually purchase pipe-dream pieces for one of three reasons:

1. Someone told me I looked great in it while we were shopping, and I decided they were right, ignoring my inner voice telling me, “You’ll never wear this.”

2. I bought the piece from Poshmark or Depop without trying it on, and their return processes are futile.

3. My body shape was different when I initially purchased it. 

For an explanation on number 1: head on over to this post, which extensively covers my issues with not trusting myself. 

For number 2: sighhhhhh, have you ever just made a mistake? 

For number 3: Bodies….are annoying. I’ll touch on my body, specifically—since it’s the only one I’ve ever experienced—and how it’s ebbed and flowed like crazy over the years. I was a chubby child up until junior high where I ran the 4x1 and 800 meters in track and slimmed down. I gained weight in college. I gained more weight on my mission. I lost a bunch of weight when I got home from my mission and started exercising regularly. And then I moved to DC—a climate I love and hate all at once—and experienced strange and unfamiliar weather-dependent body fluctuations. In the humid summer, I bloat no matter what—my hands and ankles balloon on long walks, and it feels like the rest of me develops an extra layer for no reason. I’m a swollen little baby and whatever I’ve tried to make it stop doesn’t work. So I’ve just had to factor in the swelling to my summer clothing choices.

Regardless of body fluctuations—of which I’m trying to incorporate Rihanna’s take: “I actually have had the pleasure of a fluctuating body”—I’ve held onto clothes that don’t suit me. I have ~issues~ with creating waste, as I know that donating clothes is often fruitless. But I also know (thanks to the wisdom of my friend Caroline in this video) that keeping waste in my house isn’t actually fixing anything. It’s still wasted—and now it’s also drowning me. I’ve found a few donation organizations that I actually trust, including one that picks up clothing at my apartment building once a month, and I’m still wary of donations in general. 

I like Harling Ross Anton’s idea of shopping “like a collector, not a buyer.” I’ve struggled with this, obviously, over the years. Instead of buying something I force myself into thinking I’ll love, I need to pause and think about my closet as a whole. What basics am I missing? What colors should I look for? What pieces would really round out my wardrobe, and make mixing and matching all of my clothing pieces a million times easier? 

Just like my wishful thinking about pipe-dream pieces, I’m still in the same mindset of “if, then” with the idea of collecting: if I get rid of the clothes that don’t suit me, then I can start building this dream wardrobe, full of collector’s items that work with each other in fun and interesting ways. Which is also why, before I spend a bunch of money trying to achieve this new “collector” wardrobe, I’ll work on shopping my own closet first. Getting rid of the clutter in my living room helps me see the space in a whole new way, and I’m betting that logic works for my wardrobe, too. 

Below are some pictures of me in the items of clothing I have held onto for way too long. And I’m proud to announce I have listed (most of) them on Depop and Poshmark. Please, for the love, take these pieces of clothing from me before I send them into donation oblivion. There has to be someone they’ll work on, and I do believe they’re still worth something. (I haven’t even taken the tags off of many.) 

Alright. Let’s analyze:

You can buy these pants from me here if you’re interested.

These pants, bah. I bought them before wide-leg pants were cool, and I felt amazing in them. I wore them all the time during grad school, when I was arguably at my fittest. Now, I can get them on…but it takes a lot of shimmying. They’re tight across the hips, which creates pulling at the top of my leg that you can barely make out here. But they’re so comfortable and otherwise flattering that I’ve kept them around, hoping that one day, I’ll find my way back to them. I will have to close my eyes and have someone yank them from my hands when I finally let them go, but I know it needs to be done.

Take it from me at this link or this link. Please.

I was so excited about this pinafore when I initially tried it on with my sisters and mom while Christmas shopping in 2021. If I’m remembering correctly, I had to order a different size from them because the size they had available in-store was a little too small. And here is where I complain about my figure for a sec (just let me have this). Dresses (and pinafores) are almost always too tight on my hips and too loose up top. I am one person, two sizes. I finally got “my size,” and as you can see, the skirt fits fine, but the straps are so big they remind me of an over-the-head seatbelt on a rollercoaster. I’ve thought about sewing them, but the straps overlap in the back in an X shape, which is cool, but confusing for someone who knows nothing about alterations. Overall, I just don’t love it—but I think it’s so cute to look at. So I’ve kept it, hoping I could finally find the right way to make it work. Goodbye, my almost lover.

I really wanted some patterned pants this winter, and so I went out on a limb and tried these from Depop. They’re SO comfortable, but the shape isn’t quite there for me. The pockets poof out and widen my hip area, and I don’t love the slight flare on my figure. I’ve kept them because I imagine one day tapering the leg, but I don’t know if that would make me reach for them, as the waist area is still an issue. I think with pants in general, I just need to try them on in-store whenever possible. I haven’t listed these yet, but I’ll take any opinions on if I should.

Give this dress a home at this link or this link.

This dress gives me the same issue as the pinafore—tight on my hips, and the straps fall down like crazy. It’s also just a little too short for my preference. I bought it because it was on a great sale, and I hoped I could style it with a sweater and tights since it was winter at the time, but the skirt rode up a lot because it was too tight and I ultimately felt uncomfortable while wearing it. Again, it’s such a cute dress and I wish worked on me, but I just don’t reach for it. Plus, the color? I think it washes me out.

As I was taking these pictures, I was like, “Ugh, I don’t want to post these online.” And it made me think that I could use that framework for everything I wear/might buy. Not necessarily about posting the outfit, but rather if I feel good enough in the clothing item that I would want to post it. These pants and dresses have reached the light of day because I owe them, and myself, better.

Hugs from my cat,

Abi