That dress looks stunning on you! My friends and I were mostly harsh on ourselves, not each other. But I don't think any female escapes her teen years (especially in the 2000s!) Without some body hangups. So glad you are embracing your body little by little x
So true about the 2000s!! What a crazy time to be a young woman...and that definitely happened to me too with friends, just this circle of complaining about our bodies a la Mean Girls lol.
This was absolutely wonderful. And I relate to it so much. I feel super self conscious about my big boobs because I’ve gotten so many comments over the years — some kind, some just…weird. But I was watching a video the other day of a woman who said, “can’t I just be a woman with big boobs living her life? Do I have to be sexualized all the time?” And it helped! Because it reminded me that other people’s interpretations aren’t my problem. I should have the space to wear flattering clothes without second guessing everything. Anyway — thanks for the vulnerable post! So glad you wore the dresses ❤️
Yes! Wear whatever you want. I can't with boob talk. Makes me wonder if it would be more common to comment on men's bodies if they wore tighter clothes. (Not that it's only men commenting--in fact for me, it's been mostly women.) It's just crazy how common it is for people to talk about our bodies as if we're not connected to them. I don't know...constantly rearranging my thoughts on this matter!
that red dress was MADE for you to wear it!! can’t say I relate to your experiences having friends and family comment so often on your appearance, although I do one of my close friends growing up and her mother always having something to say about my friend, which was weird to me because my friend and I were very similar in appearance, height, build, etc.
Oooh, yes, those indirect comments can really mess with your head. Especially from a mother! I'm lucky my mom didn't ever really talk about my appearance--I know that's not the case for many families. And thank you for your comment about the dress. :)
I don’t think your situation was entirely unique - perhaps uncommon. It feels very relatable to me! But I do think we may remember these situations more strongly than others when we feel so detached from and negatively toward our bodies. My biggest critic was my mom (though there were many supposedly well intentioned friends). But if you asked my mom about it, she would say she only had positive things to say about me and my body. And my friends would say they were just trying to help (though therapy may indicate otherwise). There were stretches of time when I sought comments on my body… craved them. Then, I went through a phase of rage. Any comment, even subtle or benign or positive, I reacted with an angry, snarky rebuttal. These days, I still struggle, but I’m doing better. I care less what others think, and I do more of what make me feel happy. Yay ! In response to unsolicited feedback (whether negative or positive), I simply say « thank you » and move on. I don’t want to encourage more unsolicited discussion of my body or reinforce that it’s ok to comment on others. I also don’t want to be rude.
Oooh, so thought provoking! I think you're right about the stages of body dysmorphia--I have often craved people's opinions just to understand what I actually look like. But then you notice the comments more, and that can be bothersome, hence the rage. Your response idea and reasoning behind it makes a lot of sense to me as well.
That dress looks stunning on you! My friends and I were mostly harsh on ourselves, not each other. But I don't think any female escapes her teen years (especially in the 2000s!) Without some body hangups. So glad you are embracing your body little by little x
So true about the 2000s!! What a crazy time to be a young woman...and that definitely happened to me too with friends, just this circle of complaining about our bodies a la Mean Girls lol.
This was absolutely wonderful. And I relate to it so much. I feel super self conscious about my big boobs because I’ve gotten so many comments over the years — some kind, some just…weird. But I was watching a video the other day of a woman who said, “can’t I just be a woman with big boobs living her life? Do I have to be sexualized all the time?” And it helped! Because it reminded me that other people’s interpretations aren’t my problem. I should have the space to wear flattering clothes without second guessing everything. Anyway — thanks for the vulnerable post! So glad you wore the dresses ❤️
Yes! Wear whatever you want. I can't with boob talk. Makes me wonder if it would be more common to comment on men's bodies if they wore tighter clothes. (Not that it's only men commenting--in fact for me, it's been mostly women.) It's just crazy how common it is for people to talk about our bodies as if we're not connected to them. I don't know...constantly rearranging my thoughts on this matter!
100%
that red dress was MADE for you to wear it!! can’t say I relate to your experiences having friends and family comment so often on your appearance, although I do one of my close friends growing up and her mother always having something to say about my friend, which was weird to me because my friend and I were very similar in appearance, height, build, etc.
Oooh, yes, those indirect comments can really mess with your head. Especially from a mother! I'm lucky my mom didn't ever really talk about my appearance--I know that's not the case for many families. And thank you for your comment about the dress. :)
I don’t think your situation was entirely unique - perhaps uncommon. It feels very relatable to me! But I do think we may remember these situations more strongly than others when we feel so detached from and negatively toward our bodies. My biggest critic was my mom (though there were many supposedly well intentioned friends). But if you asked my mom about it, she would say she only had positive things to say about me and my body. And my friends would say they were just trying to help (though therapy may indicate otherwise). There were stretches of time when I sought comments on my body… craved them. Then, I went through a phase of rage. Any comment, even subtle or benign or positive, I reacted with an angry, snarky rebuttal. These days, I still struggle, but I’m doing better. I care less what others think, and I do more of what make me feel happy. Yay ! In response to unsolicited feedback (whether negative or positive), I simply say « thank you » and move on. I don’t want to encourage more unsolicited discussion of my body or reinforce that it’s ok to comment on others. I also don’t want to be rude.
Oooh, so thought provoking! I think you're right about the stages of body dysmorphia--I have often craved people's opinions just to understand what I actually look like. But then you notice the comments more, and that can be bothersome, hence the rage. Your response idea and reasoning behind it makes a lot of sense to me as well.