The ability and maturity needed to sit with the internal dissonance of "this is good for me and it was bad for them" is [tragically] not something taught in the church. In fact, I think it's the opposite. The "one true church" narrative bleeds into "one true experience of that church." It leaves those of us who have stepped away to have to hold "this was bad for me but it's good for them" if we want to keep relationship with people who are still in. Unfortunately we have to hold that while also witnessing all the greater harm the organization as a whole has caused. That is extremely difficult.
The horror of Ruby Franke and Lori Daybell comes from exactly the same as place as other monsters--our ability to see ourselves reflected in them. "Not my experience" is 100% a thought-terminating cliche.
Yes! It's so classic to recognize yourself in something scary and then deviate by pointing out the small ways it can't be true. Self reflection is a good thing, people!
The ability and maturity needed to sit with the internal dissonance of "this is good for me and it was bad for them" is [tragically] not something taught in the church. In fact, I think it's the opposite. The "one true church" narrative bleeds into "one true experience of that church." It leaves those of us who have stepped away to have to hold "this was bad for me but it's good for them" if we want to keep relationship with people who are still in. Unfortunately we have to hold that while also witnessing all the greater harm the organization as a whole has caused. That is extremely difficult.
Yes! Ah, I love how you worded that. It feels very up to us post-Mormons to keep the peace, even when church culture is hurting everyone.
The horror of Ruby Franke and Lori Daybell comes from exactly the same as place as other monsters--our ability to see ourselves reflected in them. "Not my experience" is 100% a thought-terminating cliche.
Yes! It's so classic to recognize yourself in something scary and then deviate by pointing out the small ways it can't be true. Self reflection is a good thing, people!